Bheed

I like sunset from Parvati, i took this pic. long back but i kept forgetting to post it until today, but today i had my pendrive with me and pic. was there inside so posting it today, hoping everyone going through this blog will like it.

One of close to my heart soundtrack of Enya from movie Gladiator with Yuna & Tidus

Well may be i don't know her completely, but still i know her enough to predict which way she is heading, what she wants and what she doesn't at times, may be she never recognise but i am staying here and not near my office with guys i never knew before, daily spending almost 4 hours making to and fro journey just for her, to stay enough closer so that i can see her anytime i wan't, i can reach her anytime she calls, i know she cares a lot about me, when i was shattered my mind was blocked she used to call Raj, though Raj never told me but his expressions and whom he is talking with revealed everything, i needed no confirmation of that as i always knew she is with me all the time, and she is still with me, i know she will never leave me alone, she never has when she was not there her memories kept me going, she wants to believe in me but she is holding herself back for some reason, i respect her reason but just wanted to say you know me now, if you could trust me the same way the way i do, i promise i will never your leave your hand, i know we'll be fine, we will be able to overcome anything and everything if you trust me, believe me the way i do. I know you have seen many bad things in life, so now i want you to live the life to its fullest. I want you to be yourself, i want you to trust yourself, may be you never noticed but i have changed a lot just for you, now in my heart i have place for Nik also, you taught me to believe in god and many things, for that i am very thankful to you.

I am not saying you just come runnig to me, i want you to believe yourself, follow your heart and if you feel that you want to come back for no reason just come back because this is how i have loved you i don't know the reason behind but i just love you and never want to leave you alone, and if you still feel its Nik, it great, as my first wish is to see you happy, and second is if there is any place for me i want to stay with you for ever, i want want to fight with you, want to laugh with you, cry with you, share my life with you.

I may not be the best guy, i may not love you enough, the way you expect it to be but i can always learn.

I always get this feeling that you love me more than i do, i don't know why but even if you get angry, doesn't talk to me , see me even then i know you love me, if you say that i hate you even then i will know that you love me, its because you don't speak from your heart. The day i could see that i will go by myself, till than i will keep bothering you. will keep saying that i love you.

hahahaaaaaaaaaa

Now i have left everything on god if you are really mine no matter how far you go you will be back one day, closing your eyes won't help.

If you could believe in me and set yourself free, let me express my love, let me do the things i always wanted to do for you, i believe with the grace of god you will never regret for your decision, but i am always here as a friend if you don't want to come just don't come back, you also know i am bind by my family responsibilities so one day after waiting you so long i will go, i cannot stay even for myself, its you for whom i have halted. Otherwise there is no reason of me being here.

I am not a heratbroken, i have seen a lot in short span and i can overcome anything now. So don't worry about me, its true that i do love you a lot and cannot live without you but that is my problem, and i can feel whatever i want, so just think about yourself.

Everytime i am writing because i feel something is wrong here, its like she again is heading to the wrong way like always, as she has seen many bad things in her life and her destiny again pushing her to the same way and like always her eyes are still closed, that is why i want to be with her, i want her to trust me, believe in me so that i can protect her. may be i am all wrong but i cannot help it.

... Eurus ......
Afer Ventus ......
so the world goes round and round
with all you ever knew -They say the sky high above is Caribbean blue ......
if every man says all he can,
if every man is true,
do I believe the sky above is Caribbean blue ......
Boreas ......
Zephryus ......
if all you told was turned to gold,
if all you dreamed was new,
imagine sky high above
in Caribbean blue ......
Eurus ...
Afer Ventus ......
Boreas
Zephryus ......
Africus ...

Every time
The rain comes down,
Close my eyes and listen.
I can hear the lonesome sound
Of the sky as it cries.

Listen to the rain
Here it comes again
Hear it in the rain

Feel the touch
Of tears that fall
...They won't fall forever
In the way the day will flow
All things come,
All things go.

Listen to the rain
...The rain...
Here it comes again...
...Again...
Hear it in the rain
...The rain...

Late at night
I drift away -
I can hear you calling,
And my name
Is in the rain,
Leaves on trees whispering,
Deep blue sea's mysteries.

Even when
This moment ends,
Can't let go this feeling.
Everything
Will come again
In the sound,
Falling down,
Of the sky as it cries.
Hear my name in the rain.

I know everytime, i do something silly and make you angry, so don't take this otherwise.
I just wanna say that tum jahan bhi raho, jiske saanth bhi raho khush raho.
I just wanna see you happy, though you never gave me oppertunity to express my love and thats completely fine.

As 3-4 years down the line i just wanna see you happy, smiling, playing with kids thats all, thats my only wish it really doesn't matter if you are with Nik or someone else. I just wanna see you smiling, completing your MBA and working for a good firm or may be your own, i wanna see confidence on your face.

Everything i said just to make sure you be fine in future as Closing eyes cannot stop the storm heading your way, it will just gives you comfert for a while, but when it hits everything blows away, So its better to prepare for everything well in advance, that is the only reason i asked you to be sure about everything that Nik loves you and loves you enough that he can take care of you till you get old, as i just don't wanna see you hurt.

As you already know my dad is waiting for your bio-data, so i don't know how long i can fool him, some day or the other he will know and that day even after my reluctance i will not be able to say No as he has already done the most difficult thing for me, now i cannot ask anything for me, suppose after knowing all this if anything goes wrong with you then? then i will hate myself most. Till now everytime i have tried to keep my word despite all difficulties, but your decision has left me between my family and me, as if i listen to my family i am bitraying myself and if i am listening to myself i will be bitraying my family but i have to take decision no matter what i loose though in both cases i will be hurt and mostly i'll be taking decision in favour of my family as they have already showed respect for my decision by saying Yes for you, so this time i will not be in any position to say anything and for that i have to say goodbye to myself the person you know, but you don't worry, my only concern is you go fine whether its Nik or someone else.

Its true that i was greedy for a while and thought it could be you and me, but i just wanted to face all the difficulties for you, always wanted to see you the way, i left you in Pune, and i am sorry for all this.